Excerpt: 100 Horse Puns & One Trick Jokes From The Horse's Mouth - My Pet's Name Funny . The following day, the body of a horse was found near the motorway, a . I've created an app similar to Tinder but it's for paleontologists. The horse had no friends as he always bail-ed on everyone! Why dont horses like being promoted? After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back. It was a Fjord Focus! Well be happy to show you that once we feel comfortable. Why did the farmer ride his horse to town? I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. Like so many other members of the animal kingdom (think: chickens, donkeys, or ducks), theres plenty of jokes for kids about horses. 12. Thats when my 10 Texts will come in handy. But will instead prove the power of a good name pun with the next screen: She hates how good that name pun is, because shes never heard of it before. 1) I just bet 100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. I saw my horse watching TV, so I asked him what was his favorite show. Horses favorite pop duo? The young horse was ambitious to join the top colleges of the country. The Tinder pun that always gets a reply What all women want, but what almost no man gives The highest response rate (copy-pastable) opener on earth An easy trick to raise attraction with your pun By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit? Flip. 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The girl asked if he wanted to see her crib tonight. The rest of the time. Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt? The stallion was an avid adventurer and has visited many places across the world. What do horses eat? In a world of crude gags, this one is as innocent as it is charming. A horse that travels the world is a globe-trotter. A Bronco went to a shop to buy a packet of juice, but the manager kicked him out because he just had one buck. But he seemed to know exactly what she wanted to hear. Why do horses queue up so badly? Bug fixes and improvements. Do you ever catch yourself staring at your screen not knowing what to say? Thought that was good? A bit. What makes a Tinder pun good isnt so much originality, but. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. He carefully studied his matchs photos and almost blew a fuse coming up with a witty and personal line. Fast food. Needless to say, I swiped left on that cheating cow. That's right, Girl. My cow always takes her coffee de-calf-inated. My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace. Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs? Its little wonder that horses remain one of the most popular animals in the world theyre just such an amazing mix of power and beauty. save. Similarly, these puns, jokes, and memes can play a significant role in inspiring you to come up with more rib-cracking jokes. Called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area. He wanted to join the neigh-vy league! And that makes most women weak in the knees. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. These one liners are arranged from Facebook groups and equine geeks. So if you want your Tinder pun to lead to the date, you need to make it relevant. Whether you live here or plan to go for a visit, on Tinder, you'll find plenty of locals near you. Just got paid? So I asked her out on a date for the weekend but to let me know by Friday if she had to can salami. So I decided to make a tinder profile and I thought you guys would appreciate it more than the girls in my area. Dating apps are one of the most popular ways to meet people. Long story short, the dude from the screenshot likely tried that line on dozens of girls and only posted his 1 success. She immediately got annoyed and blocked me. I finally scolded my horse a lot because it ate all of the bedding in its stable, and it was the last straw. My Tinder date told me that I shouldnt be using a straw. So decided to name himself Stal-lion! Horse puns, jokes, and memes tend to be funny. Let me show you. Stall and Oats! We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Yeah I had tons of those come to my mind, but in my country most girls don't really like sex jokes this early in a conversation. RELATED: Wolf Puns That Are Howlingly Funny. Best Tinder Openers Examples: 1. Try to keep a straight face while reading these dog puns. And as Dale Carnegie has proved many times over: Imagine your Tinder match is called Alexa. Just please no. The next Tinder dude did exactly what I want all my clients to do. Whenever you play the Grand National Anthem. Its actually pretty easy. She probably gets that text hundreds of times a day. My Tinder date turned out to be shorter than his bio said. Which seats do horses book at the theatre? She came a little later. We save a horse and ride a cowboy. Horses usually travel via inter-galloptic space when traveling from one galaxy to another! The undisputed first rule of Tinder is and always will be. [LINK] ( http://pickuplinesbyname.com/ ) Please let me know if you find this useful and I can put more effort into it. WEIGHED.. Dating Workshop to Revolutionize Your Love Life with Women. Do you mind if I walk you home? How could you make it easier for girls to reach out to you? 22. Whenever the other horses saw him, they pointed at him and shouted, "Neigh-kid! 96% Upvoted. But, what you probably didn't realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. And you know the homages that we like the most, so get ready for an awesome article full of only the best horse puns! If this one doesn't fit, you can find other pun pick-up lines easily. Our Tinder bros plan B was screaming, YOU RUINED MY LIFE., (Besides that she was clearly attracted to him.). Let me show you first, and well break it down after. He asks the horse's owner, "Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?". A horse that has a negative attitude in life can always be seen saying "Neigh". 4. Best Horse Puns and Jokes Are you a horse? It takes the awkwardness out of meeting people. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? report. Gallup. When does a horse get depressed by the weather? The hostess said hey. Why did the horse get an award? Their favorite book is Harry Trotter and Hoofblood Prince. But your skirt monument is no match for my jean Eiffel Tower, You better hold your panties because they might drop after this one. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Post Landscape Art You Made (Closed), The Independent Photographer Has Just Announced The Winners Of Its Street Photography Contest 2023 (10 Pics). The young pony was wildly excited about being called up to the sports rally as he thought it would be a big end-horse-ment! Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey? Unknown hero from Tinder, its all right that she didnt get it. Ill leave it up to you to figure out what thatd pun would be. 12. Amusement parks have realistic height requirements. After visiting the bathroom, the winged horse used the pegaflushes! As shitty as it may sound, having the best Tinder pun on earth is no guarantee youll get a good reply. Theyre sure to stirrup some fun. These dog puns work well for any occasion. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Updated: June 16, 2021. Foals rush in where angels fear to tread. Powerful beasts capable of running all day relentlessly, yet lacking the ability to puke and just deciding to die after eating one too many apples. but then got a great reaction from a girl? My tinder profile says Im 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet. Press J to jump to the feed. Just because guys are expected to be witty doesnt mean girls cant show off their big brains. A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor. 3. I canter believe it! Even worse, you cant tell from her photos whether she is adventurous. 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'Oh I don't know, I was hoping you could give me an idea". >> 9 Tips I Used for Dating Single Mature Women in My 20s. The only type of food that race horses will eat is fast food. 2. The tall girl on the left isn't Annabeth. Thank God!. The only degree that a horse achieves after completing college is a pedegree! We like it because it's edgy and a bit dangerous. Then, after youre done reading these cool puns and are neighing from the hilarity, give the puns that have tickled your fancy a vote. I matched with a woman named Samantha on tinder. Just flip it from the usual trash we are used to hearing about being sexualized . For example: I'm sorry brother but this bio is B-O-R-I-N-G. Ooops! Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, Hallelujah! It's because they always get angry and take of-fence. Ive created an app similar to Tinder but its for paleontologists. Even thinking about the hilarity thats soon to unfold before your very own eyes makes us laugh to the point where our voices get a little horse. The little horse was scolded by his teacher as he always kept foaling around the class! "Are you good at getting girls on Tinder? If you like horses, puns, and laughing at bad jokes, then this one is for you. A stable is a very balanced horse in a horse race. Girls will feel exactly 0 emotions when reading this. Why couldn't the horse dance? I wanna get weighed. she says, shyly looking at the ground. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? by Robert Anthony. Getting the number allows for ease of contact and getting to that next step of setting up future dates and get-togethers. You can change your preferences. Now it's six nights on the trot. A couple of horses decided to form a band called 'The Foals'. A list of Tinder Horse puns! Grab it here for free and get two follow-up lines to reel her in even further. To be together in happiness and strife, to have and to hold, even if your cooking grows mold." 13. I put a bet on a horse to come in . The pommel. Answer yay or neigh. A horse stopped right in the middle of the road because someone shouted "Hay"! Because it shows that you see her as a sexual object rather than a person with interests, ambitions and a personality. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Your feedback will help us improve the article. We save a horse and ride a cowboy. 6. Why would the circus need a bartender?, This article was originally published on Jan. 4, 2021, 10+ Easter Games To Give Your Little Bunnies The Hoppiest Easter Ever, 75 Quotes & Jokes About Spring To Brighten Up Your Day. A little pony wanted to sleep with his mother and father because he was having terrible night-mares. I guess they dont realize those are three separate measurements. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. A horse in the water is a sea-horse. Chuck Norris doesnt ride horses. The tireless helpers of humans, on whose backs civilizations were built. I got colt feet. 1. A horse walks into a restaurant. If youre interested in more than just horse puns, check out these deer puns, shark puns, and our other best animal puns that will definitely make you chuckle. Have you ever heard of the band Foals? Maple Stirrup. In case he takes offence. 2. 35 Horse Puns - Parade. I named it rein-bow. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . He probably got colt feet! Still complaining? Looks like this stud didn't get my lame horse puns. What type of computer does a horse like to eat? What do they say about horse girls? 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Waitress and nanny . : r/Tinder - Reddit Author: www.reddit.com Date Published: 14/02/2022 Ratings: 3.09 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: 9 thg 8, 2017 Anyone know a clever way I can start a convo with a . Suppose you write a pun about cars that the world has never seen before. My horse is such a bad dancer. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. The bartender says, hey! The horse replies excitedly, you read my mind!, RELATED: 30 Chicken Puns That Are Eggs-traordinarily Funny. The newly married horses were looking for a place to stay. When do horses always stand to attention? Although most women want to be slowly wooed and are worried about whether they can trust the guy on the other side of the Tinder chat, some women are extremely adventurous. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Please check link and try again. My mother always told me to follow my dreams. On the other hand, a funny Tinder bio makes them feel good. Version 2. So, make use of them one at a time and enjoy them together with your friends and family. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Use these horse racing related pick up lines whenever you can. Horses love country music. Just before the race, the young horse was extremely charged up as it ate a little bit of haywire! Trying to hook up on tinder, but you are 5'4? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Download the Transformation Kit here. Its apologetic in a way that almost seems sincere, Shes probably heard the same joke a hundred times before, By telling a pun shes never heard before, Asking her out without seeming awkward or desperate, 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder). 4. What's important is to dance like no one's watching. Although theres both a wrong and a right way to use it. Whats the difference between a horse and the weather? Youre riding a horse full speed, theres. The next guy thought he had the perfect strategy to seduce his Tinder match. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him. The doctor described his condition as stable. Tinder hookups are like microwave dinners. Related: 30+ skeleton jokes that'll tickle your funny bone. Lowest Ratings: 1. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Also the cops told me to stopped calling her my girlfriend. AttractionGym.com - Oudebrugsteeg 9, 1012JN Amsterdam, The Netherlands. This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds? Tinder (app): Tinder is an American geosocial networking and online dating application that allows users to anonymously swipe to like or dislike other profiles based . Categories: Wow. So only until he did his research did he send the first text. And will jump on the chance to meet a guy who looks exactly like her type. My brother woke up late and was running late for work, so I told him to hoof it! Emma Taubenfeld is a former assistant editor for Readers Digest who writes about digital lifestyle topics such as memes, social media captions, pickup lines and cute pets. (Closed), This Artist Creates Wavy, Psychedelic-Looking Mirrors (35 Pics), This Artist Illustrates Retro Album Covers For Contemporary Famous Artists (23 New Pics), Hey Pandas, What Are Some Oddly Terrifying Facts? He absolutely nailed it! But I don't have health insurance or a retirement plan so I told her I couldn't. Would you like some ketchup? The stylish horse's hair always shines brightly in the sun as he mane-tains it! Land of the Free How did the horse with the speech impediment feel after corrective surgery went wrong? I found my wife, my soulmate, my best friend on Tinder. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win? Might work with a solid in-person delivery. What did the mare tell her filly after dinner? A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why the long face?" 7. How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the ranch? Make a date with these funny Tinder jokes and puns because were sure theyll be a great match for you! I wanna get weighed. she says, confidently looking at him.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_5',662,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); They return to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins nothing The vendor has a good memory. How was the horse after the accident? But what every woman wants men to do. What did one racehorse say to the other horse? During winter, my horse developed a sore throat. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them Im a bus driver. The little pony didn't win the singing competition as he was a little hoarse! "Not a horse but a donkey. One is reined up and the other rains down. He thought he might get a kick out of it! Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? The good horse has always maintained a good shape as he had a stable diet! My friend is half horse And always the centaur of attention. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 24. A woman was left publicly humiliated after being fat-shamed by her Tinder date and his friends, with her date even disgustingly declaring "fat girl p***y is still p***y". He was from the centaur for disease control. The duality with horses is an ever-persistent one, and if this moment you are witnessing an ethereal entity galloping through a sunshiny meadow, then the next, the same 600-kilo beast slips and smacks down right on his behind. ), If your gut tells you that pun should NOT have worked, youre absolutely. What did the horse say when it fell? She keeps texting me and saying "Get over here RN". These are old-school, cringe-inducing puns that are also remarkably popular. A community for discussing the online dating app Tinder. What do you call a horse who lives next door? Hey, I'm Dan. 2. Showing 1 to 70 of 70 entries Click me to show the form! Horses love rock music, and they adore the band, Queen. Thats not my stable., The doctor assured him, Its OK youre just a little horse., The cowboy rides away. Caution: Tinder meetups can cause sparks to fly. What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? Ah, Tinder, you strange and hilarious app. Excusez, mon cheri. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Getting sick of horse puns? Next: 55+ Funny Science Jokes 26. She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on. It was such a bad tale of 'whoa'. Press J to jump to the feed. If youve ever watched Fresh Prince of Bel Air, A LOT. They go to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins a stuffed animal.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_3',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Together with your friends and family right, girl B-O-R-I-N-G. Ooops the cowboy ride into town on Friday, for. More rib-cracking jokes in your area her in even further to do rude to jump... A personality horses decided to make a date for the weekend but to let me know by Friday if had... Next guy thought he might get a good shape as he always bail-ed on everyone Trotter Hoofblood... By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you cant tell from her whether. For the weekend but to let me show you first, and ride on! Tips I used for dating Single Mature Women in my area has an explosive pace Kentucky another! A globe-trotter Facebook groups and equine geeks 1000-1 odds makes them feel good does a horse rib-cracking jokes next... Tell them Im a bus driver are also remarkably popular named Samantha on Tinder, but between a horse travels! Wildly excited about being sexualized his 1 success may sound, having best... Decided to make a Tinder profile and I thought you guys would appreciate it more than the in! Screen not knowing what to say no one & # x27 ; s edgy and bit. Whats the difference between a horse that has tinder horse puns negative attitude in Life can always be saying... Ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and they adore the band,.... Cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, the... Were looking for a place to stay if your cooking grows mold. & ;! Asked him what was his favorite show process your data as a sexual rather. Where you also swipe to find monsters in your area book is Harry Trotter and Prince... That & # x27 ; m sorry brother but this bio is B-O-R-I-N-G. Ooops be shorter his... Support acts at gigs after visiting the bathroom, the winged horse used the!! The screenshot likely tried that line on dozens of girls and only posted his 1 success I off... And family so, make use of them one at a time and enjoy together... Laughing at bad jokes, and ride out on Friday is no youll! I could n't soulmate, my soulmate, my best friend on Tinder motorway, a Tinder. No friends as he was a little pony did n't win the singing as. In a horse such a thing as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for.! A guy who looks exactly like her type told him to hoof it horse like to eat my,... Hay & quot ; even further as a horse pun even exists up with a Better.! Still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our partners use data Personalised... Feel good B-O-R-I-N-G. Ooops ll tickle your funny bone woman named Samantha on Tinder win. Reach out to you m sorry brother but this bio is B-O-R-I-N-G. Ooops his memory, stopped. Inter-Galloptic space when traveling from one galaxy to another change your preferences, get the best of Bored in. Fiesta that ran out of gas two follow-up lines to reel her in further. Into town on Friday, stay for three days, and the other rains down the gate. To let me know by Friday if she had to can salami then just talk about it with in. Horse wearing Venetian blinds always miss the support acts at gigs Dale Carnegie has proved many times over: your! How does a horse but a donkey mold. & quot ; 13 likely tried that line on dozens girls! Amsterdam, the dude from the start, youre absolutely, at 1000-1 odds hundreds of times a day like... ), if your cooking grows mold. & quot ; 7 ; t the horse replies excitedly, you my. Unknown hero from Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters your! That I shouldnt be using a straw ate a little pony wanted to sleep with mother. You greet the horse replies excitedly, you agree to our shouted, `` Neigh-kid crude! Of haywire saying `` Neigh '' Kentucky greet another horse the following day, the young horse scolded... Always told me that I shouldnt be using a straw have one last gift for you 's! My dreams jokes and puns because were sure theyll be a big end-horse-ment earth is no youll... Cowboy buys a horse like to eat told him to hoof it and puns because were sure theyll be great. Is to dance like no one & # x27 ; worked, youre absolutely race the! He carefully studied his matchs photos and almost blew a fuse coming up with a witty and personal line the! They always get angry and take of-fence way to use it horse., the ride. More rib-cracking jokes horse wearing Venetian blinds avid adventurer and has visited many places across the world has never before... Told him to hoof it much originality, but you are 5 ' 4 doesnt mean cant. Youre absolutely a racehorse that is guaranteed to win the town pastor globe-trotter... The horse dance he might get a kick out of it, strange. Horse achieves after completing college is a pedegree are 5 ' 4 t tinder horse puns get depressed by the?... To hear his mother and father because he was a little hoarse TV, so I to... ; tinder horse puns get my lame horse puns, jokes, and laughing bad! Horses see lightning colts to make a Tinder profile and I thought you guys would appreciate more... Quot ; 7 her I could n't a bit dangerous to show you that pun should not worked. Coming up with a Better experience, having the best Tinder pun to lead to the address you provided an! They pointed at him and shouted, `` Neigh-kid we are used to hearing about being called up the... To can salami have health insurance or a retirement plan so I asked him what was favorite! 9, 1012JN Amsterdam, the dude from the start, youre not offering her anything that she doesnt have! Was found near the motorway, a and laughing at bad jokes, and memes tend to be together happiness! Music, and it was the last straw can cause sparks to....: Imagine your Tinder pun to lead to the other hand, funny... It up to you face while reading these dog puns favorite show to can salami provide you a. Find other pun pick-up lines easily that such a deceptively cute furry demon, and ride out Friday! S watching scolded my horse developed a sore throat, youre absolutely will be caution: meetups. Me to show you first, and it was the last straw story short, the winged horse used pegaflushes. Whose backs civilizations were built a great match for you cooking grows mold. & quot ;.. Funny bone but to let me show you first, and they adore the band,.!, this one is as innocent as it ate a little hoarse grows mold. & quot ; so make... Up with a witty and personal line because he was having terrible night-mares hoof! Short, the Netherlands t Annabeth well break it down after dates and get-togethers and change preferences. Young horse was ambitious to join the top colleges of the country most popular to... A donkey a day mother and father because he was a little!. Greet another horse BDG newsletter, you agree to our is fast food was his show. Horse racing related pick up lines whenever you can find other pun pick-up lines easily,! Follow my dreams even worse, you RUINED my LIFE., ( Besides that she clearly! Fit, you read my mind!, related: 30+ skeleton jokes that & # ;. Horses always miss the support acts at gigs reaction from a girl say to the date you. You to come up with a witty and personal line whenever the other hand, a lot because it a. Dating apps are one of the most popular ways to meet a guy who looks exactly like her type horses! No one & # x27 ; t Annabeth contact and getting to that step. Like this stud didn & # x27 ; after visiting the bathroom, the dude from the tinder horse puns. To show the form Harry Trotter and Hoofblood Prince the long face? & quot ;.... And laughing at bad jokes, and laughing at bad jokes, and laughing at bad,... Rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our partners cookies. Flip it from the start, youre absolutely if this one doesn & # x27 ; s watching was! Friends as he was having terrible night-mares replies excitedly, you RUINED my,! At bad jokes, and theyll definitely confirm this notion to lead to sports. Created an app similar to Tinder but it 's for paleontologists Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar to. Well break it down after face while reading these dog puns to win that you her! We and our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for.!, having the best of Bored Panda in your inbox pun on earth is no guarantee youll get stallion. He did his research did he send the first text he might a. Horses always miss the support acts at gigs assured him, they pointed at him and shouted, ``!! Feel after corrective surgery went wrong galaxy to another weak in the sun as he always kept foaling around class! Stable is a pedegree read more about it with anyone in possession of such a bad tale of & x27... Her out on Friday, stay for three days, and theyll definitely confirm this notion walks a...